It's Not About Success or Failure

Motivation: It's Not About Success or Failure

New Year's Resolutions:  do you struggle to keep up with trying to make big life changes?  

As you endeavour to stick to your resolutions for 2012, the month of January or just to make key changes throughout today.  Remember: try not to define your life in terms of ultimate successes or failures.  If you do it will inevitably lead to disappointment.  

I remember many years of starting new workout programmes all of them 'failed' to various degrees.  Maybe some of these statements ring true for you too?

My checklist in the past:  

• Commitment;
• Will-power;
• Several reasons for making the change;

I would be committed financially:- "I will start a new gym membership"

I would be committed in terms of self-belief:- "This year will be different, to all the other years I am mentally stronger now!"

After binge-drinking at Christmas/New Year - no more alcohol:- "will-power is easy when not much socialising to do"

I have support of friends and family:- "most of my friends have New Year resolutions too, great!"

I will do a healthy food shop:- "Pretty easy after all the over-eating and indulgences over the festive season".

I will start workout programme X:- "I will look like the guy on the magazine cover for sure!"

I will change habits, behaviours in days that have taken years to establish:- "I have the will-power to do this!"

The statements in bold are often what I used to get started, the italics are some of my current thoughts.

The first week my eating and workout regime would be extremely dedicated and rewarding.  "Right, this is it for the rest of the year" I would say to myself.  However I get to week 2 or 3 and enthusiasm waned.  On a good year I may even get to mid February.  But I still lost motivation in the long-run.  I began to feel failure because of an occassional slip-up, or for missing an exercise class and taking the rest of the week off.  I felt guilty for not maintaining a high standard.  I felt guilty for not perfectly following something that on January 1 seemed very possible.  I felt guilty that others seemed to be doing better than I.

Well think about it, if success is defined as all-or-nothing then it is likely I may actually fail and give myself license to quit.  After all it is just too difficult at times.  Not the best way to maintain lifestyle change when viewed in this context.  But how many people (including yourself) do you know who has stuck to their resolutions 100%?  I can not think of many people.  After all according to a study by the University of Bristol 88% of people fail their New Year's resolutions. [1] There has to be a better way, that does not focus on repeating cycles of limited success and significant failure.

My suggestion is to look at any process of self-improvement as the opportunity to learn, adapt and experience more in life.  Take small realistic steps, get the support of family and friends, set goals, look at the costs and benefits associated with making those changes and assess what your level of compliance is on that basis.

This will give you the information to make better decisions, or at the very least make more informed decisions.  Find out what motivates you, what information and resources you need to continue your journey and finally focus on long term well-being rather than short term gratification.

Success should not always be defined as the end goal: the process of taking steps towards this goal is what educates, improves and enriches.  Continuous improvement is success, standing still is failure.

References:

[1] Blame It On The Brain: --> http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703478704574612052322122442.html